Emotions

This is going to be much harder than I thought.  You see, tomorrow I will leave my baby boy behind and head off to work.  If there were any way to get out of it, I probably would.  It's not that I am not thankful that I have a great job to go back to or for the 8 weeks that I have had at home with Silas.  I am really grateful for those things.  I know many people are without work right now and many people are not given much maternity leave time. It's just that I have enjoyed this 8 weeks so much.  It has been such a special time.  I know that there will be many more special times for us in the future, but he will never be this small again and I feel like I will be missing out on a lot of things.

I remember back to the first night after Silas was born.  The nurse had to take him out of our room so that he could sleep under the warmer. I cried at the realization that we were being separated for the first time in his existence.  Now we are going to be separate for 9-10 hours a day.  :(  I can't even imagine what it will be like to send him off to college!  Hopefully he will want to go to K-State and we won't really have to deal with that. :)

Lucky for us, Eric is going to be able to take off work and be with Silas until August 1st which is when our daycare opens.  I think that will be a nice transition for us and I'm really glad that Eric will get some more one-on-one time with our little sweetheart.

So I will just be a big girl and try to make it through this.  After all, so many working moms have already survived.  I'm sure with a little prayer, I too will be ok.  

Silas, I pray that God will hold you tightly in His arms when I am not there to do so (and even when I am).  I pray that I will never take for granted the time that I have with you.  I pray that you will always know how much I love you.